Well, I’ll just echo Josh’s blog of last week: You need community in grief. Oh yeah.
My grief just now is personal, so I won’t go into details. It wouldn’t be appropriate. And, no, it’s not about Dave and me.
Here’s the daily routine: I wake up in the morning and wonder about the weather, do I need an umbrella, did the sump pump work all night. And then, it softly creeps into my mind and heart, and the sadness and helplessness wash right in: the circumstances of our present grief.
This is going to be a long and difficult journey that I have little knowledge to know how to deal with. So here’s what‘s helped about 15%…my slather of soul-Neosporin, which is better than nothing right now.
We decided to tell our “stuff” to others. Proverbs 24:6 “…And in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (ASV) We rolled out our confusion in waves to others, not everyone at once. First a big toe, then up to our knees, then a little deeper. We didn’t drown, so we slowly kept at it. We found people are pretty understanding and good hearted and non-judgmental.
We invested in getting wisdom from a counselor. Oh yes, that one hour of, “You aren’t crazy,” goes a long way. And thank you email, texts and FB for helping us stay connected to supportive far-away others.
We received. As I write this, I feel very thankful and grateful for those who seem to know what I need right now. Not just words, but strong hugs that say, “I am so with you right now and you can do this and I believe in you.”
In any given day I mostly feel utterly distracted and deeply sad and wonder, “How did I get here?” But I get it – God has shown His love to us anyway, with all of the above. And the sump pump kept up this week. I’ll take that. I’ll take it all.
“Jonathan, David’s uncle, was a wise counselor to the king, a man of great insight…Hushai the Arkite was the king’s friend….” (I Chronicles 27:32, 33 NLT)
Melinda Schmidt is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and holds a Broadcasting/Bible degree from Calvary Bible College. She has served with Moody Radio since 1980 in various hosting capacities. Married with two young adult children, Melinda lives outside Chicago, loves reading, developing her creative interests and hopes to be a life-long learner.